Day 56: mood shift/pic/assessment

OK… getting back to my semi-abandoned blog…

Have manage to hush up the little voices these days that had been predominating me especially week 5-6 ie/  'how can something so painful possibly be good for me??' 'I'm supposed to be listening to my body.......but what if its crying and telling me its need rest for 3 consecutive days??'

Took a mental shift to.... 'Beauty is pain'   (....im sure partick mentioned something about health benefits as well..... what were those agian? ) 'No pain no gain' 'Keep going if body is just crying.  If it dies on me and wont/cant move, then stop.' 'JFD'

Still reluctant to do bikini shots (maybe for the finale pic..) but currently looking something like this.

-Shrinkage in breast area appears to have plateaued.  ....underwear shopping?

-Some work left to do in inner thigh area.

-Got over 'chicken legs paranoia'

-Improvement in ab area…. More definition would be good.

Scales appear to have frozen over........but let’s not freak out. @ -4.9KG, -3.something % body fat.

Day 46 : The week's summary

This week's downs:

-Had a super intense week at work.....….. Wednesday was a particularly bad day and I went on a bit of a fruit binge.  On hindsight & thinking about the bigger picture I actually think it’s sort of cute, considering the nasty food groups I would’ve turned to pre-PCP life..... but at the time I felt SO guilty…. Never again!  (Contrary to expectations though, for some unkown reason the scales showed quite a drop the following day.. which I took was a sign from god that he’s giving me another chance.......)

-Amidst work chaos missed one too many egg whites in the morning.

-I think I’ve been fiddling around too much with the diets without confirming the validity of my choices, out of reluctance to add further complications to life.  Eg/ having ‘0 fat yogurt’ and ‘regular milk’, if that’s all that’s available during the day.

…..maybe I should check.

-Discovered the technicality issue that I will never be able to post comments on other peoples blogs via my own/office pc, ever.   ………sigh.         

This week's ups:

-Successfully worked my way around a social event!   I made modifications to the other meals prior to the event by cutting down portions, but had told people in advance about my initiative and they were all very supportive, making sure I got fed salad with the least amount of dressing on, and got the privilege of picking off all the veggie toppings on the pasta etc.  –I’m sure no one had any issues about eating my portion of pizza/ dessert…..

In terms of cost in VS food out,  it makes no sense whatsoever especially with the all-you-can-drink arrangement, but nevertheless it was nice to be partaking in regular social human activity for a change! 

-Statistics:   In order to set realistic expectations, before I enrolled in PCP I told Patrick my stats and asked how much weight I can expect to shift in 3 months if I bust my ass off..  He said 5-7Kgs.  So I decided to aim for –8Kgs, just to out do his predictions. But to ensure that actually happened I set my personal goals to -10Kgs. (I’m an ‘aim for the moon and land in the stars’ kinda gal)  

Day 46, I am -4.7Kgs :-D  I’m on track! (well… technically depends on where I perceive the actual goal to be I guess… but anyway). 

I know that numbers are not the universe…. But what the hell.    For now, yey, Go quantifiability!

Pics will follow soon.

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Re:comments

Tracey:  no doubt I would have troughed it down and out a long time ago if it weren’t for everyone else doing this..!  horaay for team spirit & SNS!

Helen:  Arigato!   Thinking white sand…blue sea…. pinacoladas….

Brent:  Thank you!:-D  I think I’m becoming a bit of a coffee addict as well…  I would ask Patrick how much coffee is too much… but why complicate life further?

Mini:  chicken legs on the beach, that’s’ the plan…!;-)  

Kos:   passing the half way mark really feels like an achievement doesn’t it?  Counting the days til freedom!!  (….and a life long obsession worrying about the calorie content of any food after all this educational brain washing, with the continual & ever lasting rigorous work outs to ensure the 3months of effort are not reversed..? oh well we shall see…)

Day 39: Emotional crash & recovery.

Mental state Monday-Friday 6pm:

Exhausted, in pain, over worked, over worked out, depressed, teary, philosophical. Ie/’what is the meaning of happiness?’ ’isn’t peak condition a relative term?’

Mental state Friday 7pm~now :

Marcus tells me we are going on a beach holiday once PCP is over,,,

Okey, motivation and energy levels back on track!!  

Meg… Just f-ing do it.

Post-depressive/philosophical & re-energized me on day 39.5>

Day 31 to 37: The Ups & The Downs

The Ups:

-Visited Hong Kong to see Marcus on the weekend!  :-D
Met up with some of the team mighty mouse crew (so........is this our official team name then?)          
From the right: Me, justin, terri, fergie, marcus.

Was great meeting you all.........  hope to see the rest of you guys in the near future too!

-Figured out what some of the workouts are actually supposed to look like. 
※Memo to self....: if everyone is complaining that something is excruciatingly painful but I'm not feeling it.... its most defiantly because I am doing it wrong.
Floor jumps are not cute, little & piddly-  they're long and high and make you want to kill your self.

-Didn't have one big indulgence, but had several moderate indulgences through out the 3 days I was in HK which was lovely,  eg/ more salad,  an odd dim sung here and there, a glass of wine etc.  (Well... the wine was lovely when I had it.  defiantly not so the next morning.  I don't know whether this counts as an 'up' or a 'down')


The Downs:

-Crazy work week...... complete lack of sleep. missed one work out and felt like such a loser afterwards.  Still trying to get over the self loathing

-I'm turning in to a PCP-centric bitch. 
When I first started out, I somehow thought I would be hating PCP by now, but what I am really hating is not the program itself but the circumstances/people that try to impede it.  I'm thinking things like........
'Welcoming party??..... why the hell did you have to join the organization now of all times??'
or
'Seriously,,,dont you f*->%+ dare talk to me when im jumping around between conference calls and I only have 4mins to consume my 150grams of fruit......cant you see the criticality of this apple?!'

-Forget the man arms I've been openly expressing my concerns for on the question thread..... what's the deal with my calves??  I am seriously starting to freak out.
I did not sign up to get chicken legs!!

-Weight went down on the weekend to -3.8kgs, but then came back up to -3.3kgs.
Weird.  Either gravity being different in HK, Marcus's scale being nice to me, me building more muscle or alternatively maybe I'm just somehow genuinely getting fatter on less food and more exercise..  I wonder which?  
Decided not to add more stress to life by thinking too much about it.

Shall flickr later.
Another week is upon us.... with one more egg white and one less banana for me!


Re: Comments
Justin:  Will probably post some paranoid chronicle w/pic about my enhanced calves soon....watch this space!
Kos:  Yeah... one of my challenges right now is not to get too caught & tied up with the micro-prespectives.  I MUST NOT TURN IN TO A BEAN COUNTER....,
Tracey: Thank you for the support!
Terri:  Voila-  enjoy the pic!  great meeting you guys, hope to see you again soon& thanks for the yoghurt info!
Patrick: There is 'toned' and then there is just plain 'butch'.  I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes....
Helen:  thank you!  aah so they do come back? thats nice.  But do I dare ask...does anything else come back??            My curiosity keeps growing for life post day 90.....